Dear Momma,
Welcome to the circus! You’ve made it to the first act of motherhood: trying to survive.
Now, at this point, you are probably in fight or flight mode. However, if you haven’t noticed there’s no turning back. The child that sucked the life out of you for nine months, is now here to drain you physically and mentally. While it may not be the easiest, it is worth it. Here are a few pointers to get you through.
Do what you feel is right! Life doesn’t come with a parenting manual! If it did our jobs as parents would be so much easier. No one is an expert and what works for one, doesn’t work for all. You do what feels right to you. Suggestions are nice. I assure you, you will get plenty of unsolicited advice, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow it. You do you, Momma!
Sleep. Sure you pulled all-nighters in your teen and college years, they weren’t THAT bad to recover from. Um, hello! Need I remind you that you didn’t have a tiny human that depended solely on you to keep them alive? Sleep when that baby sleeps.
The dirty dishes and laundry will be there tomorrow. (And the next day and the next day...you have forever doubled your workload with that sweet bundle of joy that just arrived.)
Those hormones of yours are going to be like a pinball machine. One minute you’re basking in the joys of motherhood, crying happy tears and the next you’re crying out of pure frustration. The baby blues are real. Postpartum Anxiety and Depression are real. Don’t wait six months to get help, talk to someone. Know you are not alone.
You are not going to enjoy every moment of this parenting thing. Like the moments when your child is screaming in the middle of the grocery store for unknown reasons. I said it would never happen to me, too.
Feeding your babes is not as easy as you would think. Breastfeeding is hard! {50% of the crying I did was the pressure and stress I put on myself the first go round. This second pass has gone so much smoother because I have a better understanding of things!} Bottle feeding is also hard! Figuring out the right formula, the right bottle and the right nipple for your child isn’t easy either. As a mother, you’ve been tasked at helping your child grow and develop. However way you decide to do that, YAY you!
Nothing your partner does will be done right or to your liking. Just know this, they are trying. Whatever they try to do, thank them. Don’t forget, their life has been flipped upside down too!
Bet you would have never guessed the bathroom and the laundry room would become your place of refuge! Five minutes of peace and quiet are hard to come by these days and you will find yourself trying to hide to get a break.
You will drive yourself crazy trying to be perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect outfit. Perfectly well-balanced diet. Perfect behavior. Let me fill you in on a little secret, no one is perfect. My children will never be perfect and I’m okay with that. Don’t let other people’s judgment of your imperfections as a parent make you feel insecure or inferior. None of us have it figured out. None of us have it all together. If they’ve told you they do, they’re lying.
“Ohhh, child things are going to get easier. Ohhh, child things’ll get brighter!” It will get easier. Every day is a new day. You’re doing the best that you can! You’ve got this, that sweet babes is depending on you and will surely make your life brighter!
You were made for this, Momma! Don’t doubt yourself. You’re raising world-changers, just you wait and see!
Love,
Me {Before You Became a Momma}
This is such a sweet note. Always remember the part where nobody is perfect. We were not designed to be. Somewhere along the line, we forgot that "it takes a village", but the faster we recognize your own strengths as Mamas, the better we can serve others with that gift.
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