I always thought I’d glide gracefully into my 40s. You know — confident, balanced, sipping herbal tea while wearing cozy linen pants and speaking affirmations into the mirror. Spoiler alert: that’s not what’s happening. Instead, I’m forty-two, standing in the kitchen with a cup of cold coffee, crying because I dropped a spoon, sweating like I just ran a marathon, and wondering who swapped out my brain for a fog machine.

Welcome to perimenopause, ladies — the prequel no one told us would be this wild.

I’ve birthed three kids. I’ve survived sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, and the dreaded middle school years. I thought I’d seen it all. But these hormones? They’ve got their own agenda. One day I’m fine, the next I’m a walking volcano of rage because my husband dared to breathe too loud.

Let’s talk about the rage. You know that irrational fury that bubbles up out of nowhere a few days before your period? Yeah, that’s me now. Every. Single. Month. It’s like my hormones throw a house party and forgot to invite sanity. Add in the extreme fatigue, emotional rollercoasters, and that delightful “Did I take my vitamins or did I just imagine it?” brain fog, and you’ve got a recipe for a meltdown before breakfast.

Then there are the night sweats. Oh, the glamour of waking up drenched at 3 AM, sheets twisted, freezing one minute and roasting the next. I swear, I’ve experienced all four seasons in a single night. Toss in chills that make me reach for a blanket, and then — bam — I’m sweating again.

And don’t even get me started on the wine headaches. My beloved glass of red that once felt like self-care now punishes me like I’ve downed an entire bottle. Apparently, my 40-something body has decided alcohol is the enemy.

Through it all, I’m trying to remind myself this is just another season — and like all seasons, it’ll pass (eventually… right?). Until then, I’ll keep my sense of humor, a stash of dark chocolate, and a fan by my bed.

So tell me, friends — if you’re in your 40s, are you riding the perimenopause rollercoaster too? What’s been the ugliest or funniest part of it for you?