Today is the day that parents both rejoice and cry over... back to school day for many schools in our county. I'm not sure who was more anxious this morning.... me or my ten-year-old, who is starting his first day of fifth grade. While school is semi-normal this year, it brings about a lot of fear for this mom, who is battling COVID-anxiety as the Delta variant surges across the US.

My son's school opted for optional masks for kiddos who are too young to be vaccinated. I'm not sure how many kiddos will be masked at school, but I venture to think the unmasked will far outnumber the masked. I know my son is irritated with me for asking him to mask up, but we just can't risk him contracting COVID or even being exposed... not when we have a new baby due to come into the world in four short weeks. 

I'm hoping that all students and teachers will show kindness and grace for one another, despite personal feelings toward COVID. The health and safety of all is what's important to me. I hardly slept two nights ago, just worrying about all of this mess... the 'here we go again' feeling, just when we thought we were moving forward.

Will we be home with sick kids in two weeks? Will we have entire classrooms quarantined again? Will my kids even be able to be around their new sister when she's home from the hospital, or will I have to keep them separated to keep them safe? These are the hard questions I've been pondering, and I'm trying so hard not to dwell on them, and trust that God will protect us. At the same time, I know that we have to be smart and do our part. Hubby and I are vaccinated, and we're all wearing masks if we need to be out in a public space (indoors), trying our best to think of others, and not just ourselves. With so many vulnerable and higher-risk folks in our family, it just makes sense.

COVID worries aside, I can't believe that this is my big kid's last year in elementary school! I'm wrestling with all of the emotions of having a 5th grader, kindergartener, and newborn this year- what a whirlwind! Some way, somehow, we're going to make it.