Successfully co-parenting following a split with an ex-partner is incredibly tough, especially if the relationship has turned contentious in nature. Joint parenting is dependent on the interactions of the parents and can greatly impact your child’s risk of developmental problems, which is why it is so critical to put your all into co-parenting if it is the route you decide to go.

When you and your ex decide to share the parental duties and getting joint child custody is what you have in mind, there are a few things you should know that could help you with your journey. 

Although this is a very difficult time, teaming up with an ex to parent will actually benefit your children in the long run. This shows them that they are more important to you than the conflicts that affected your marriage, and it shows that your love prevails no matter what changes.

Other benefits include:

When electing to guide your child as a team, you will develop similar disciplines, rules, and rewards despite the separate households. This helps the child follow consistent expectations, and not have to evaluate the households separately.

Kids who witness their parental figures continuing to work peacefully together learn how to effectively solve issues themselves.

Positive cooperation establishes a healthy life example that your kid will be able to take with them into their own future and use for reference in their own relationships.

The less conflict your child is exposed to, the better. High-intensity parental conflicts can lead to negative developments such as anxiety, ADHD, or depression.

In order to do this successfully, your own emotions have to be placed on the backburner. This is anything but easy, as hurt and resentment linger in the mind, but you need to remember that the needs of your child come first.

A good way to begin this process is to vent and get your emotions out to a friend or therapist. This can help you let loose some steam and stay focused on your kid.

While the leftover bitterness from your break up may never truly leave, it is important to keep in mind that these issues are not your child’s. Keeping a distance between these problems and your offspring is very important.

For example, never elect to send messages through your child – email or call your ex yourself. Another way to keep these problems to yourself is to avoid saying negative things about your former partner to your kids, as this may make them feel pressured to make a choice between you two. Their relationship with your ex-partner has the right to be free of your influence.

No breakup ends easily, especially when you both are still linked by a child. Raising children while you are hurting this much is incredibly difficult, but it is important to keep trekking on.

There are different steps in this process, some going forward and some going backward. If you were married and have decided to file for divorce, it is important to find an experienced divorce attorney to represent you. A divorce leaves a lot to be decided on, such as custody, assets, and child support. These important matters should be dealt with by professionals, like the team at Kessler & Solomiany Family Law Attorneys.

Separation means that conflict exists, and while it is there you should respect your former partner enough to not place these issues on your child. This point ties into the previously mentioned steps intended to help keep your children outside of your feuding. While you don’t need to like your ex, you need to respect that they are also (hopefully) trying to put your child first as well.