Monday, October 25, 2010

So, This Is Love...

Well, I feel that I am slowly re-joining the world a little at a time each and every day since our sweet little son entered our lives. I really should be catching a nap right now, since he's sleeping- but a blog update is long overdue.

Balian's Birth Story:

I was scheduled to be induced on Monday morning, Oct. 11th and needed to be there to check in at 6 am. So, the day before, I spent a great deal of time preparing myself for what was to come the next day. Sacha's friends decided to come visit him that afternoon- the 10th. It had been quite a long time since they had all been together, so I didn't mind them being in the house, as long as they didn't mind my fluttering about, packing last minute things and doing one final load of laundry. I even cleaned out the car- with a little help from my mom, because I wanted everything just perfect when we brought Balian home for the very first time. 

Sacha's friends left in the early evening, and my parents stopped by for a quick visit. After mom and dad left to head home, Sacha and I decided we'd better have a quick bite to eat, and then I needed to shower and get to bed- 5 am was going to come earlier than I wanted it to, and I knew I wouldn't get any sleep... too anxious! We were in the kitchen a few minutes after 7 pm, preparing to heat up some soup, and then all of the sudden- my water decided to break! Sacha began rushing around, trying to grab our bags, asking me a million questions, calling his mom, etc. I called my parents- they had just gotten home, but they turned right around to head to the hospital to meet us.

We were excited... happy that my water broke and that the baby had decided to come out on his own... because I did not want to be induced. Everything was lollipops and butterflies on the way to the hospital- until my contractions started- hard and fast... way fast- less than 5 minutes apart fast! We made it slowly, but surely down the hospital corridor to the Women & Children's center... the walk seemed to take forever. Wish there was a call button at the parking deck so someone could come with a wheelchair to pick you up! Walking down long hallways w/major contractions is not easy! When we finally made it to Labor/Delivery, we got situated in a room, and were soon after met by my mom and dad, and by Gretchen and Rachel (Sacha's mom and sister). I was surprised the nurses let everyone stay in the room with us, as there were only supposed to be 3 other people in there with me. I had an exam right away, and was only dilated about 4 cm. The nurse asked me what kind of pain medication I wanted, and I told her that I didn't really want to have an epidural, but that I wasn't going to completely rule it out. Yeah- glad I didn't rule it out, and even if I had, I still probably would have changed my mind. The contractions just got stronger and came on much faster- 1 1/2 - 2 minutes apart, but I was far from being dilated enough to start pushing.  So, yeah- I told the nurse I was ready for my epidural around 9 pm, and by 9:30, the anesthesiologist was in my room, preparing his table! Didn't hurt- barely felt it... the worst part was leaning over the table while the contractions were still coming.

After the epidural, everyone was allowed to come back into the room, and I felt great. I couldn't feel my contractions at all, and was able to sort of rest and carry on conversations with my family. At around 3 am, Dr. Mills said I was ready to go, so the family made their way to the waiting room, and we started a long 2 1/2 hour stretch of pushing... with no signs of the baby wanting to come out. Dr. Mills said it would be best to try to get him out with the forceps... literally, the scariest, most painful thing I have ever experienced, and hope to soon forget. Even with the use of forceps, Balian still did not want to come out to meet us. Dr. Mills explained that my pelvic opening was just too small, and that Balian was quite literally stuck. He told me and Sacha that I was going to need a C-Section right away, and as soon as I heard that, I was relieved- because I felt that I could endure nothing else! Before I knew it, there were tons of people in and out of the room, prepping me for surgery right away. It took about 30 minutes from the time Dr. Mills said 'c-section' to the time they wheeled me to the O.R. Can't say I remember too much- lots of people- all asking me questions... me just wanting them to send Sacha in. I remember one of the doctors asking Sacha if he brought the camera into the O.R. with him, once they finally let him come in, and he said 'no,' and I told him that I was fine and he needed to go get the camera! One of the doctors actually went back to our room to get the camera for us. They were all really super- the entire staff. I don't remember anything after that... after a few minutes, I heard crying- I assumed it was BalianBalian. It was time for Balian to go to the nursery, and for me to go to recovery. Sacha could have gone with me, but I wanted him to stay with the baby. I knew I'd be fine on my own. My poor family was so concerned about me... mom said she cried when they wheeled me past them in the hallway... she didn't want me to be alone. I was so out of it, that I don't remember going past them... mom said they stopped in the hallway so my family could see me. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery- alone, being pumped full of drugs and hooked up to a million wires, etc. I do remember asking the nurse over and over again when I could go back upstairs to see my baby... because it felt like we hadn't really met yet. I had no idea what time it was- didn't even know what time the baby was born until I got back up to postpardum.

I went back upstairs around 8:30 am, where Sacha met me in our room. I was glad to see him. The baby was still in the nursery, and I was getting the low-down that he hated his bath, etc. Balian was born at 6:14 am, weighing 7 lbs 5 oz. It was near 9 am when the nurses finally brought Balian into our room, and placed him in my arms for the first time. It seems like the world stopped for just a minute, as I felt a surge of a completely new kind of love. With Sacha right beside me and me holding our son, we had our first glimpse of our new life together- as our own little family.

A while later, family came in and took turns holding Balian for the first time. He spent his first two days being passed around like a football, and didn't seem to mind it... we later learned it was because he had jaundice. He spent all day Wednesday under the Billi Light- it was hard to leave him in there all day, unable to hold him, just because I wanted to. We began breastfeeding from day one- definitely not easy at first, but we're getting the hang of it and had a lot of help from our Lamaze instructor, who is also a lactation consultant- Ms. Connie... we love her- she's been wonderful to us.

We were discharged from the hospital on Thursday. Recovery from the c-section has been difficult, but that being my first surgical procedure ever, I didn't know what to expect. Balian and I have been staying at home together, and Sacha has returned to working during the day. We're not getting much sleep- due to Balian's round the clock feeding schedule. It would be so easy to just give him formula- but I enjoy the closeness we share during his feedings. Makes me feel like I can't leave the house, but I'm sure I'll get over that little by little. I don't have a lot of freedom during the day, which is why I'm not really answering the phone or returning phone calls. I'm lucky if I get to grab a sec to use the restroom or make a sandwich. Life is completely different, but has honestly never been better. We are so blessed and happy... even with zero sleep. :)

My post-op visit with the Dr. went well this morning. We made it out the door with Balian by 9 am- me in real clothes, feeling sort of human for the first time in two weeks. Tomorrow will be another test- Balian has an appt. with his pediatrician at 10:15. My sweet little man is waking, hungry, no doubt... he's making the cutest noises. I call them his 'puppy sounds,' because he sounds like a little puppy when he's waking up. I'm looking forward to our 'face time' this afternoon- where we stare at each other and I watch him make adorable faces at me... what better way us there to spend an afternoon?

Thanks for all of your well wishes, love and prayers. We'll try to update you on how we're doing again soon. :) Xxxxxxxxxxxx..........

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Waiting Game...

So, I guess it's been a few weeks since I've updated the blog again. It's been a busy past couple of weeks. Here's a recap:

Had a lovely baby shower on Sunday, Sept. 19th. It was hosted by Sally Taylor and Debbie Martin- two super fun ladies in my dad's choir. The church choir ladies and the ladies on staff at the church were all invited, and many attended. There was a scrumptious spread of goodies to eat, banana punch, a too cute diaper cake as the centerpiece, and of course... lot's of adorable gifts for our precious little guy. I had most everything organized and put away within a couple of days after the shower. The nursery is all set up, crib and all... and now it's just waiting, just like us!

Church stuff remains busy. We're still involved with all of our normal activities. Have to take my shoes off during church- feel sorry for anyone sitting near me. No reason not to go to church, lead worship, etc... even if we are just a few days away from meeting our son. Sacha is always on the go, and I am blessed to have a 'job' that allows me to work from home. I'm to the point that I don't really want to go anywhere. I hate being at home all the time, but my feet are so swollen (really, they're terrible) that I have zero pairs of shoes or even flip flops that I can stuff them into. I did have a pregnant woman moment last Sunday morning where I cried (quite literally) because of my huge feet and not being able to fit them into any of my shoes. I may have even declared that I was just going to stay home, but the good Lord snapped me out of that real quick. Poor Sacha. I try not to complain too much about being so uncomfortable, but I'm to the point now where I just can't not complain- everyday tasks are a huge struggle. My feet are constantly falling asleep, can't bend my toes, etc, etc... and all I hear from everyone is 'Your feet look bad' or 'You look uncomfortable.' Well, duh! I live with it- and don't need to be reminded of it every five minutes, thanks! If you've been pregnant, chances are you've been there, and know exactly how I feel.

Moving on... our past couple of Dr's appointments have been good, but disappointing. I keep walking in there every week, confident that something will have changed... that I just might be dilated even a little bit- but no such luck. After four weeks of appointments and exams, nada! Dr. P seems pretty sure we'll go past little guy's due date. AWESOME! I am eager to meet him, and eager for him to get out of me! :) Seriously, it could all change very quickly, but as of Tuesday, he was still very high up and not close to making his debut. Our next appt. is on Tuesday, the 5th & if nothing is happening by then, we'll have to go back on Friday to have an ultrasound to do a 'no stress' test. I keep praying that he'll come out on his own and that I won't have to be induced.

So, that's about it. Everyone's so super excited for him to hurry up and get here, and to see pictures... but it's out of my hands, folks! He'll get here when he's ready. Maybe he's overheard too many of our conversations and thinks we're all a little too weird and has decided not to come out at all. I wouldn't blame him- we really are a bunch of weirdo's, on all sides of this big, wacky, Durocher-Witt family. We're all waiting... just waiting...