Today, I can say with certainty- I am in my forties. Turning forty was, of course, a milestone for me, as it would be for anyone. For some, it's a turning point... many going into crisis mode, contemplating all of their life decisions up to that point. I expected fanfare with forty, but there really wasn't any. Forty was quiet. It was a year filled with a few hurdles, some fun things, and more change.
Change can be good, of course. I found myself stepping back into a role that I thought I would never have the chance to reprise. My 'dream job' so to speak. It isn't uncommon for children of ministry leaders to follow in their parent's footsteps. I always hoped that after over two decades in ministry through singing and worship leading, an opportunity to lead worship as a vocation would present itself... and so it has. It was unexpected in its timing, and isn't that just like God? As I step into this new 'old hat' role, I can't help but wonder what else God has in store for me through ministry. Am I meant to do more, or should I just stay in my lane?
I don't know what the year ahead will look like. I long to feel more settled. It won't be long before middle school years are over for my oldest, and then what? Another big life change. I don't feel old enough to have a child headed toward high school, but here we are. Into the unknown, we go... my family along for the ride. My kids are so incredibly resilient. They take every little (or big) change and run with it, never skipping a beat. I wish to be more like them.
Forty-one, I can only hope, will bring good things. Time will tell, and we shall surely see.
As I walk along the road of life headed into another year, I'll just keep singing of the goodness of God.
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