It's better to say goodbye a day too early than a week too late.

Maybe you've heard this said in your life. When I first heard someone say this to me, I was contemplating the right time to say goodbye to my very first dog, Molly. It was 2020 and the vet office was not allowing families to be with their pet to say goodbye.

We chose to have a vet come to our home and provide a special service to say goodbye right in our living room. It was beautiful and sad. Traumatic and healing. 

Fast forward to 2021 and yesterday was the day that we let Ellie go. She was our second dog and we enjoyed 16 years with her. My dogs are truly children to me. I have human children and I can still tell you that my dogs are children to me. Of course, I recognize the difference, but I do love them fiercely and they mean so much to me. They have shared my bed, my home and my heart for so many years. 

We knew it was the right time as the seizures began to take over her body. She stopped eating and lost significant weight. She stumbled around with a look of desperation in her eyes. While I knew the time had come, it is never going to feel "right" to take the life of a being that I love. In fact, it feels inherently wrong. It's an inner battle that I fight every single day. I know people say it is an act of mercy. I do want to believe this, but try explaining this to children who don't understand why we do this to dogs, but not people. 

It isn't easy, but we press on. Life keeps moving. The sun keeps peeking it's bright rays above the trees and I'm still a mom, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend. 

Sometimes, life brings trauma in waves. This week was a wave. I know that next week will be still. I've experienced enough rough water to know that eventually, the storm passes. 

If you're having a week of waves, take heart and wait for the calm. It's just around the corner. 

Blessings