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Infertility and Me

Celebrating My Parent's Anniversary in TopSail Island, NC

My name is Brittany, I'll be 34 in a few months, I've been married to my husband, Cory, for almost 12 years, and we are infertile. I've talked about our journey on here before, and It's been a few years since I've written about it. So Since April is Infertility Awareness Month, I thought I would share a bit of an update with you all. 

So to recap just a bit, my husband, Cory and I have been on a journey to start our family since 2011. We spent thousands of dollars out of pocket for treatments that were never going to work because our doctor was not treating the root cause of our issues. So we left that practice, took a few years off, and found a new doctor. We were both immediatlly sent for more testing to confirm with our other doctor diagnosis. I had a tubal blockage, PCOS, Stage 4 Endometriosis, and a septated uterus. Cory had low motility, morphology and count. The odds were definetly stacked against us, but I was confident with out new doctor that we would develop the correct treatment plan. And we did.

A Portion of the Fertility Medication

Over the next year+, I had surgery, was put on medication to suppress my ovaries, went through medically induced menopause and got into the best shape of my life. Cory started taking Maca root powder, and that really helped to increase his count. Things were looking up, and then we were told that our only hope, expect for a Miracle from God, was to try IVF with ICSI. This procedure is close to $25,000 and is not covered by insurance. It took us a few years of saving, and a medical loan to be able to afford it. Our loan gave us the ability to have 1 egg retrieval, 1 frozen embryo transfer and
1 fresh embryo transfer. It also included 1 year of cryo-preservation for any embryos that we had left over. 

Getting Ready for our Egg Retrieval in Oklahoma City

So in 2018, we were able to start IVF and soon after found out that we were pregnant! I remember that day so clearly. My doctor called me on a Wednesday, at work and told me that I was pregnant. Said I needed to come in on the following Monday for Blood work. I found out I was pregnant during Holy week, it was the best feeling ever. It was like my own special Easter gift from God! My nurse called to tell me that I was almost 5 weeks and that I should be able to come in the following week for a viability check and hear the heartbeat. I was elated. I cried and couldn't believe that we were having a baby. We had waited 7 years for this, Cory and I couldn't have been happier, we were on cloud nine. I called all my family and told them the good news, but asked them not to tell anyone.

Transfer Day!

Cory and I spent the next few days envisioning our life as a family of 3. When we moved to Tulsa in 2010, I bought a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting, and had never opened it. I told myself that I would save it until the day I found out I was pregnant and I cried when I opened the book for the first time and began to read it. We were having a baby and I was on cloud nine.

Our Embryo Babies

On Easter Sunday, I started to feel nauseous and I had a massive migraine. I ended up going to bed early because I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I remember thinking, " this is my first experience with pregnancy sickness," I was kind of excited.  I had gone into the doctor Monday  morning for my blood work, and my nurse asked " how ya feelin' Momma?" It was the first time anyone had called me Mom, it will stick with me forever. Later that afternoon, I started to feel worse, and after a trip to the restroom, I began to spot. I was so worried and panicked that I was about to call my doctor, but he ended up calling me. My blood work came back, I was no longer pregnant. I had lost the baby. I miscarried early the next morning while at home.

Diesel in the Back, Luna in Front

It's been 2 years, and I still can't bring myself to change my wall calendar from March of 2018.  Our life has moved on, but I don't want that portion of my life to be forgotten. We've taken a break from treatments for now and I don't know what the future holds for us, but I still hold on to the hope that God will bless us with children. But for now, we'll take being puppy parents to Diesel and Luna.

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