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Am I Doing it Right?

Something I hear Moms asking these days is “Am I doing enough to enrich the lives of my children?” followed up by “What is everyone else doing?” Let me just stop there to say, yes. Yes, you are doing enough. But how do I know, you ask? I think somewhere along the way we forgot that literally just being a Mom is enough. Getting up, having your coffee, vacuuming the rug, feeding the pets, putting your makeup on - believe it or not, you are teaching your children EVERYTHING. All the time. Just by being you. When you have a bad day, you are teaching them that it’s ok to have a bad day and that Mommy still loves them even if she feels frustrated or angry. When you take care of yourself, you are teaching them how to take care of themselves. When you go to the grocery store or take out the trash, you are teaching them how the world works.

The Mom-Child relationship is designed to inherently enrich the child’s life just by existing. Are we going to make mistakes? Sure. I have yet to meet a perfect person or parent for that matter. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not perfect, your parents weren’t perfect, the Moms on your Mom Facebook Group are not perfect and no matter what they say, they don’t know everything (even when it seems like everyone knows more than you). The best thing I learned from my experience as a first time Mom in the first months of my daughter’s life was that I somehow had Mom instincts built in - and I learned to trust those instincts (still learning). I learned that doctors don’t even know what your kid has sometimes and if it’s a virus, there is nothing you can do but wait it out so don’t bother going to the doctor at every sniffle (I figured this out 75 doctors visits later, of course). I learned that other people are going to criticize you. And that’s ok because you have the gift of Mommy instincts - and to be honest, nobody knows your kid better than you. You LITERALLY grew them in your body. Or if you didn’t actually grow them, you have to put up with their whining every. darn. day. so haters back off unless you want to come and raise this child yourself. Any takers? That’s what I thought… but I digress…

The point of this post is simple: you are enough. And if you happen to have some Play-Doh or some crayons or feel like taking them to the park one day - that’s icing on the cake. So give yourself a break. It’s hard enough taking care of little people in addition to yourself and every other adult responsibility we have these days - don’t make it harder by beating yourself up too. And by the way, “what everyone else is doing” is the same as you - arguing with their kids about what to eat, cleaning up chocolate milk off the floor, watching Trolls for the third time that day, wiping butts, begging their kids to take a nap for the love of Pete, and wondering if they are doing enough.

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