Life with three kids, full-time jobs, and side hustles doesn’t exactly leave much space for quiet evenings with our feet up. Sacha and I both pull a lot of weight in our home, and while the balance of who-does-what looks different, the truth is—we’re both overwhelmed most of the time.

Sacha handles the bills, the yardwork, car maintenance, major repairs, and the kind of “gross” stuff I refuse to touch (toilets, bugs—absolutely not my territory). He also does the morning lunchboxes, which I can’t tell you how much I appreciate since I’m already at my laptop by 5:30 a.m. checking emails before the house wakes up.

My side of the load looks more like meal planning, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, housecleaning, doctors’ appointments, school paperwork, homework, scheduling, birthday gifts, family events, homeschool for our preschooler, and the constant rotation of closets and shoes. Basically, all the invisible-but-never-ending stuff that keeps a household moving.

And honestly? Sometimes it feels like too much. But I know he feels the same. Parenting three kids while running a household and trying to make ends meet with extra jobs—it’s a lot. Our days are scheduled down to the half hour. Even fun has to be penciled in, and ironically, I’m usually the one doing the planning for the fun my kids later accuse me of not having.

But here’s the thing: sharing the mental load is one of the most important things parents can do for their marriage and family. When one partner carries too much, resentment builds. Even if you don’t say it out loud, it shows up—in tone, in patience, in how you treat each other. When both parents are actively participating, it feels like teamwork instead of one person drowning while the other is swimming.

An equal mental load isn’t about keeping score or making everything perfectly 50/50. It’s about recognizing what needs to get done, splitting responsibilities in a way that feels fair, and appreciating each other’s efforts. When the load is balanced, the home runs smoother, stress is lighter, and your relationship has more space to thrive instead of just survive.

I don’t think this season of life is going to get easier until we’re empty nesters—and by then we’ll probably miss the chaos. But I do know this: making sure both parents are in it together makes the journey a little less heavy.

So if you haven’t already, sit down with your partner this week and talk about the mental load. Ask each other: What’s feeling overwhelming for you right now? What can I take off your plate? It’s one of the simplest ways to strengthen your marriage and lighten the load for both of you.

How do you handle sharing the mental load with your partner?