Mom guilt and mom hurt usually goes hand in hand. No matter what you do you second guess yourself. Did you make a mistake following your own mindset, someone else's advice, or just from a lack of understanding the situation?  A mom may never know. I am going to share an important story with you.

I've shared E with all of you,  but I never shared how he decided to get married, hide it from me, and when I found out it hurt so deeply that it caused a huge rift in our relationship.  I couldn't understand how the person I raised and was extremely close to would ever feel the need to hide something from me. What did I do wrong?  E would tell people, I was "extra". I tried too hard to shield him from things that it made him annoyed.  In turn it made his wife immediately disamends. I felt disrespected and felt there would never be a time I would welcome her into my home. 

I didn't talk to E for nine months.  It broke my heart. 2023 was a hard year for us. We lost a lot of family. E was not able to come home to grieve with us. Yet, when our family was hurting E and I made ammends. Over the last few months, his wife, L, and I have been talking and I am so happy to report this week they drove across the country to come home, after 2 long years of not seeing them. I have my entire family here and it is amazing.

So what changed?  It wasn't just watching our family suffer extreme losses. It wasn't an immediate forgiveness.  It was remembering that you don't make perfect decisions as parents. We are imperfect so that we grow. Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight, but is also doesn't happen if you are closed-minded.  Forgive often because it makes you stronger.