It can be hard to know how to help your child and you might feel like you are not doing the right thing. This guide will help you aid your child in their recovery process. Make sure you support them as much as possible and always be willing to listen to them when they want to talk. 

Let Your Child Grieve 

Some parents are afraid to see their child grieve and when their child tries to show their emotions and thoughts, they are quick to shut their child down. Even if you are not comfortable showing emotion, you should always let your child show their emotions as this helps them to mature and become well-rounded adults. 

However, the best way to allow your child to show emotion is to show emotion yourself and show your child that it’s okay to cry and that they don’t have to be strong all the time. 

You should also ask questions so your child learns to talk through their emotions and they are not shy about telling people how they feel. 

When your child learns how to grieve, they can process their feelings. Allow our children to cry, be angry, talk, and express all the emotions they need to grieve properly. 

Keep in mind that there is also no timeline for grief so some children might experience much longer than others. 

Teach Your Child What It Means to Have Boundaries 

Sometimes children and even adults do not know about boundaries. Boundaries are important because it teaches a child they have control over their emotions and their own body. Physical boundaries are important because it shows a child that they have control over who can touch them. 

Emotional boundaries are just as important because it allows a child to show people that they deserve respect and they do not have to allow people into their inner circle unless they want them to be there. 

How you teach your child about boundaries will depend on their age. If your child is in therapy, their counselor will probably also spend time discussing with them about boundaries. 

Art is a good way to teach young kids about boundaries. You can draw a line on a piece of paper to symbolize the boundary. Then you have the child write down things that are okay on one side and the other side they can write things they are not comfortable with. 

You can also make your own picture with them so that it becomes an activity you do together. Make sure you use age-appropriate language so that they understand the boundaries and they have a good idea about what they are putting on the paper. 

Teach Your Child To Trust Themselves 

Sometimes a child will not trust their own instincts, especially if they have been put down in the past by adults. If a child has grown up around someone abusive, they might have even been taught that they cannot think on their own because their thoughts are useless or not good. 

If a child is taught to just do as adults say, they quickly learn that their experiences and emotions are not important. 

From a young age, make sure you teach your child to trust their intuition. They can also learn to trust their emotions. Allow your child to trust their inner voice. This encourages self-confidence as well which is crucial when they become teenagers. 

A key way to teach your child to trust themselves is to always ask how they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. Then, make sure you do not minimize their feelings. Listen to them and then acknowledge that their feelings are valid. 

Let Them Tell Their Story 

To therapists and counselors, the story a child tells about their trauma experience is called the “trauma narrative”. This allows the child to tell exactly what happened from their viewpoint. This can be very difficult for children to talk about so let them take their time and do not push them if they are not ready to talk about it. 

Writing down the story is also important. If the child is not old enough to write the story themselves, you can write it for them but make sure you are writing down verbatim what they are telling you so that it is still their original story. 

Once the book is done, sit down with your child and read it together. This allows the child to process the story and the emotions that come with it. 

Turn the Negative Into a Positive

After a traumatic event, a child can have a lot of hurting beliefs. This includes things like “No one loves me” and “There is no way I can be happy again.” These horrible beliefs can stay in a child’s head for years and even decades to come. 

Have your child write down all the hurting beliefs that are in their head. Take the hurting beliefs and turn them into healing thoughts. 

Healing thoughts are many different things including “I am good enough” or “My behavior doesn’t have anything to do with my parents' drug habits.” 

Healing beliefs are very important and they can completely change the way a child feels and acts. 

Final Thoughts 

A child that has been through trauma and abuse can act and feel very differently compared to children that have had a healthy upbringing. It’s very important to let your child process their trauma because if left unsettled, the child will continue to bring this trauma into their adulthood which can negatively affect every aspect of their life. 

Use these tips in combination with trauma therapy to help your child overcome their trauma.