There are so many defining moments in one's life. You know those moments in time where you remember where you were when something life changing happens?  There have been so many moments Iike that in my life, but the one that stands out the most is the moment I went into labor with E. 21 years ago tonight, I was watching the season finale of Friends, the one where Rachael finds out she is pregnant (ironic) and I begin labor. 

It's hard to imagine it has been 21 years. I look at E and still see the little baby I brought home from the hospital and he is far from that little baby. Except, when he uses his baby blanket that I carry in the car, just in case. This little baby turned into such a little man right before my eyes. 

When he joined the army, I was terrified. I wanted to keep him safe and at home. He wanted to spread his wings. Then covid came around and changed every aspect of our lives.  The focus from there was how many more days he had left before he came home for good. He isn't coming home the way I thought he would. He's found his future and moved into his first apartment just this past week. He's growing up and despite my hesitation to let him get there... he did it. 

I thought I wouldn't survive when he left. I didn't know what I would do with myself, but each day gets a bit easier. I will always be his mom and this house will always be his home.  Happy almost 21st birthday kiddo.