I have to admit, it is super hard for me to take time to love myself and give myself self- care. While I'm not a parent and my immediate family lives in another state, I find myself being the "go-to" support person for my colleagues and parishioners. 

I'm the one that gets called when someone needs something, no matter what time or day it is, I'm the one that gets called to ask to host another Zoom call, I'm the one that runs around making sure every detail is taken care of before and after events. It's even more chaotic when I prep to go out of town, like I am for Valentine's day weekend. 

When the pandemic started and everyone was working from home, it was expected that I'd be immediately available to answer. After all, living by myself with no kiddos at home means I have a ton of free time, right? Sure, I have free time- but I'm also entitled to a personal life, just like my colleagues with spouses and children. 

That has continued for two years and I know recognize the need to "slow that roll" so to speak. Sure, I can be available for emergencies, but I don't need to answer every text, email, and call in my personal time. There is ALWAYS something that will take our attention on to the next thing. 

So, how am I trying to live into self- care and love myself, so that I can love others well the remainder of 2022?

1) Say No. 

We have permission to say no. We don't need to do everything and be everything to everyone. Sure, it's hard when this is an expectation, but I've learned that resetting boundaries is super important. If you/ your family needs time to chill, say no to that one more event. If you don't have the energy to be a part of that committee/ board/ event, say no. It's better to say no then to overwhelm yourself! 

Of course, this is hard when it's related to your job- but be clear about what you are already doing, how much time you are spending, and if it's absolutely necessary, then reset your days to come in later or leave earlier. 

2) Put away electronics, especially your phone. 

In the evenings, instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media, place your phone on it's charger in another room. If you have a family, be present with them. 

If you live alone, like I do, follow up on some chores, watch that favorite tv show (even if its the 100th time), or even brew yourself a cup of tea and sit on your patio, watching the stars while curled up under a blanket or pick u your e-reader to finish that book you have started and checked out about 5 times. 

3)Exercise

We either hate it or embrace it. We always say there isn't enough time, but when we take short walks, do a quick session of yoga, or even a full blown work out, we always feel better. Exercise not only releases the good stuff (yay endorphins) that helps our mood out, but it also helps us to find our center and maybe, over the long term, some piece. Even if you have to take your kiddos too, go for a walk around the community/ park, dance it out, or find something you love. 

4) Make your favorite snack, baked good, or meal and enjoy it. 

Our lives are rushed. We often don't want to cook, don't have the time to savor our meals, and live off processed foods. Embrace the kitchen, spend time with your family, invite friends over for a meal.. or enjoy a meal in peace and solitude. (Oh, it's okay to get take out once in a while too!). 

I know some of this is hard with your children at home, with demands and jobs and spouses. Have those hard conversations with yourself and your loved ones to determine what your needs might be. After all, if you aren't living into your own self- care, then how can you care for others? Balances are super- important, friends, and I hope that you find yours this February!