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10 Best Divorce Advice for Women (That Mom Won’t Tell You)

Getting your marriage finished is not the easiest thing you can go through in life, but it’s possible to get it done in a calmer and more emotionally intelligent way than people usually do.

If you are about to split up with your partner shortly, we suggest that you know the following divorce tips before you dive into the procedure. On the contrary, if you just found yourself to be a respondent to a divorce case, you may need these bits of advice even more. Don’t wait any longer, learn our best divorce advice to go through marriage dissolution with dignity and self-confidence. 

Calm down

The first thing you should practice once you’ve started the divorce procedure is keeping your emotions moderate. Don’t get too mad about things going on even if you were not the initiator of divorce and did not agree with it. 

Remember that the scope of your personality is defined by the scope of the issue that can drive you mad, so make sure you’re not worrying or freaking out because of little things. However, you shouldn’t force yourself to stay unemotional if you feel hurt or neglected: in the long run, to stay mentally healthy, you need to let yourself feel all the spectrum of emotions to deal with them. Therefore, if you notice that you need the help of a professional in bringing yourself back on track of calm living, feel free to find a psychologist, work with them, and postpone financial and other divorce agreements for a certain time. Some people wait as much as half a year to make sure their emotions are set aside. 

Research the subject

Another best divorce advice for woman you can get is to do your research when it comes to marriage dissolution procedure. It is crucial if you are going through it for the first time or if you are filing in another state. So, once you stop crying over your broken marriage and all the hustle you need to live through to finish it legally, start educating yourself on local divorce laws and their application to your case. This process may not be easy and understandable from the first attempt, but you have to keep learning to not miss any detail that may cost you the comfort of your single life after divorce. 

Plan your days

Haven’t they told you to keep a diary from a young age to become organized and productive? Now it’s time to finally listen to that tip and implement planning into your routine. Either at night or in the morning, make sure you know exactly what tasks you have to do this day and prioritize them to not forget anything important. Both paper planners and mobile apps work well for that purpose. 

Stick to schedule

The next thing to do after you’ve made a plan is to follow it. Thus, make sure you’re not just listing your daily tasks on the app or paper but also glimpse there from time to time to stay on track of your actions and cross out the things you’ve carried out. 

Your main task is to make it your habit: planning and acting upon your plan. Don’t worry if it looks complicated at the beginning. All of us started somewhere and it wasn’t easy but the results we get when we are consistent are worth it. 

Have someone to support you morally

During the divorce proceeding, you will notice that many friends you had while in a relationship with your ex are fading away. They prefer to support the other side and it’s normal: you never know who is who until you get to the point of divorce. However, it’s important to have a few close ones who stand your back regardless of what’s going on in your life: marriage, break-up, new job, etc.  

Keep track of your finances

You need to do it both in the short and long term: first, to pay for the process of divorce which can cost an unexpected amount of money from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars, and second, to support yourself after the case is closed. If you have kids who depend on you, reviewing and taking control over your financial situation is even more important. 

Don’t worry about other people opinions

The seventh tip that we’d like to give you is refusing to pay attention to the opinions of random people regarding your personal life. They haven’t been in your shoes to judge you or advise you, so there is no point in listening to them. Also, don’t worry about rumors people may spread about you: since you are a party to the case, you are the one who knows the truth, while “haters gonna hate” anyway. 

Think twice before posting anything on social media

Many women wish they knew it before they made their divorces public on Facebook and faced the undesirable consequences of such behavior. Don’t be one of them, refrain from publishing any comments on thoughts regarding your marriage dissolution with your partner, your reasons for that, etc. Also, be careful with the pictures and check-ins you post while the procedure goes on: they may say a lot about your personality, financial situation, and your motherhood. 

Do what’s best for you

Be it fitness classes or a divorce support group, if you feel like it’s bringing you peace of mind and physical relaxation, do it. Don’t blame yourself for wanting to have time for yourself even if you are about to become a single parent of two kids: they need a happy mother rather than the anxious one who spends all her time with them and does not have a chance to do things that fill her up. The Washington state legal separation process isn’t the easiest one, so feel free to dedicate some time for self-care. 

Believe in yourself

Finally, if no one believes in you and doubts your actions, be the one to believe in yourself. People will condemn you for the desire to stay alone rather than cope with abuse, neglect, or cheating and stay married but that’s not your problem. Those who do not support you do so due to their inner complexes that have nothing to do with you, so keep going your way and chase your goals. 

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