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It's Just A House

This house has always been a place of love, safety, and laughter.  This is my Gram's House.  At 94, she is starting to decline in health and our family made the hard decision to take her in with family in Florida and sell the house.  There are so many mixed emotions with saying goodbye to the home we all lived in at one point in our lives.  It's closing the door on 40 years of memories and that's just for me.

My Gram left at the end of October.  My mother stayed in the home and left as of last weekend.  I spent the final Thanksgiving there and it was rough. Not seeing my Gram there took a toll on me and I haven't been there since.  My Gram is still with us and we were sorting through her things and it felt odd and inappropriate to me.

I talked to my Gram last week via video chat and I can see that she isn't the same. She said some things that had me biting the inside of my lip so I wouldn't cry or show her I was upset.  I don't think she would have understood but I held it back, because my memories with her are good memories. They live with her. Not because of her house, but because of her spirit.

Watching someone at the end of their life is difficult. It is upsetting, scary, and angering. She is struggling with so much when she should be living her best life and that is hard to see. The house is just a house, but the love we have for her will always matter the most. Even in her state of mind she says I love you and that is the most important memory of all.


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