When Pink Turns Blue...What Do You Do - Part 5

After the ordeal of the in-service mental health facilities, things began to take a turn for the better. My husband and I tried to better understand Patton. He tried to educate us, but honestly, it was hard. We agreed to try to use his chosen name rather than the “dead name” he was given at birth.

This was so hard because we prayed and took great care in choosing his dead name as he was formed in my womb. But...we tried. He changed his name several times until he finally settled on calling his DID system Patton. This name is the name we now call him when we do not know which of the alters are fronting. Not only did we have the name change and pronoun change to adjust to, but he had new alters forming to help him with trauma from his life. We had to get to know them as well. It was trippy, but we persevered and I can now pick out a few of the alters and have individual relationships with them.

With him being a teenager that is growing and changing, it took about 3 years to get medication straightened out and to find the combination that works best for his mental health wellness. So, if you are dealing with a teen that is struggling with mental health, be patient and work closely with them and the psychiatrist to find the best combo of meds for your child. Be their advocate at all times...listen to them...don’t assume they don’t know how the medicines are affecting them. If there is any question if something they are dealing with is a side effect - talk to the psychiatrist.

On a different note…

We left the church we had been attending and decided to take a break from attending church to heal from some of the religious trauma our family had experienced throughout this time in our lives. We did, however, stay in our small group because the group had become an extension of our family for us and loved us. I am so thankful, to this day, for the women in that group and how they walked with me on this path...never judging...only loving me through it. To those women...thank you for helping me hold up my crown when I thought it would fall off!

I began looking for resources to help me deconstruct my religion. I had no intentions of leaving my relationship with Jesus but wanted to break down the religious thoughts I had ingrained within me and truly love others instead of judging. So I began by asking that question that every 90s Christian teen wore on a bracelet...

The first place I went was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John to study how Jesus lived, loved, and how he said to live. In my heart, I know that Jesus loved well...the outcast, the dissident, the unloved, the untouchables, the downtrodden, the ones that others judged harshly. When asked what the greatest commandment was, it was not “make sure everyone thinks the same way and judge them if they do not.” Instead, “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ‘This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22: 37-40). I decided then, that this was my purpose in life now. To love God first (which had always been a purpose) and to love others well. My neighbors are not all like me and do not have the same ideals and lifestyles as me, neither did Jesus’ neighbors, but he loved them and walked with them. I choose to do the same.

I needed others...

Then I began searching for a support group that could help me further my understanding and acceptance of my son. I came across FreedHearts Ministry. When I stumbled upon their website, I knew this was the place for me in this journey. I began by watching the founder’s TED Talk, which you can watch here. Thus began my journey to acceptance and love for not only my son but the LGBTQ+ community.

When I found their FreedMoms Facebook page and was accepted to the group, after a very in-depth interview on both my journey and the issues that would be discussed in the group, I knew I had found my people! This group was full of moms that either have “been there, done that, and have the t-shirt” that can encourage and mentor you to moms whose child has just come out, and everything in between! It is a safe place to work through your journey and receive the encouragement you need. I was no longer alone - there are SO many people all over the world on a similar journey as mine! This was such a Godsend for me and was exactly the right timing too!

Then, through watching Schitt’s Creek, (hysterical show), I found another support group that also was a huge help to me! It is the Mama Bears and their Facebook page, Serendipitydoodah - Home of the Mama Bears that helped me continue loving, accepting, and standing by the LGBTQ+ community through opportunities to practically encourage and love on them.

With the women in these two groups, I was able to access resources by their suggestions that were very helpful in deconstructing my religion. I also looked at research and studies on the human brain and transgender/sexuality to see what science is discovering about this.

I want to share those with you now in case you are on this journey and need some help along the way.