Our children learn about their surroundings by what they see, feel, touch, and experience. Our children learn from watching those around them - how they interact, treat others, communicate, love, and so much more. As a parent, sometimes we do no see just how much we are being watched through their innocent eyes. When I finally realized how much our children pay attention to us, I just had to share some of it.
Frustration
As an adult, when we get mad or frustrated, we always seem to turn to certain behaviors. The way we handle ourselves during stressful situations are behaviors that we are showing our children. For example, if we are adults who can verbalize their feelings of frustration, our children are watching. If we are adults who handle our frustration with physical activities such as running, that is what we are teaching our little ones.
Apologizing
Sometimes apologizing and actually meaning it is a struggle for adults, not just kids. When our little ones see us admit to being wrong in a situation, they are learning to admit when we are wrong. One person is not always right. Everyone makes mistakes, whether it’s with our actions, words, or unintentionally. By identifying that we are wrong and we show that we understand why what we did hurt someone and truly apologizing, shows growth as a human. When our little ones see that we recognize that what we did was wrong and we make a true apology (meaning actual change will occur), they are watching to admit when they are wrong as well.
Taking Care Of Ourselves
There are many avenues that this topic can branch off to, but the main one I want to address on is how we speak to ourselves. We are the main deciding factor behind how we feel most of the time. When we are negative toward ourselves and call ourselves harsh names, we are developing in our minds that is the type of person we are. When we are positive toward ourselves and forgiving, we are developing that positive and growth mindset. When you speak highly to yourself, you’ll begin to think highly of yourself. When our children see that we are positive toward ourselves, most of the time that translates to talking positively toward our children. Thus, teaching them to speak positively to themselves.
Listening
I’ve seen this so many times with adults. There is a difference between hearing someone and listening to them. When you are having a conversation with someone and you are constantly thinking about your comeback, are you truly listening to what they are saying? Are we trying to understand why they are saying what they are? Are we looking to give our opinion? Or are we looking to see how we can turn the conversation into something about me? Children are watching how you interact and communicate with other adults. They notice when we recognize why someone feels the way they do. Acknowledging why another person feels differently than you, shows that you are actually listening to them. I do want to add that acknowledging why they feel is certain doesn’t always mean you agree, but you can sympathize with why they do.
Parenthood is such a crazy and exciting time in one's life, especially for a toddler who is learning about their world through you. Little eyes are constantly watching you. For me, that makes me want to be a better person in the long run. I know I am raising part of the next generation. We always want the next generation to be better than the last.
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