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The Real Life Chronicles Of A Mom As She Watches Her Boys Grow

My view as I type this evening, is of my backyard.

 I sit on my back porch and peer out through the screen at a large tree with five trunks at the base that grow out into a gigantic tree. I've loved this tree since we purchased our home about six years ago. I sometimes wonder what led to it growing in such a unique way. The image above is a snapshot that took place six years ago. It feels like yesterday. 

As I look around my backyard, every place my eyes land is a memory. When we moved into this large, foreclosed, plantation style home, I had big dreams for my two young sons. They were four and three at the time and on the cusp of becoming "big" boys. Every inch of our new home and property was like an adventure yet to be discovered. Discover we did. I see a tree swing that my husband and father-in-law dangerously hung, while balancing on a ladder much too high for my liking. I see a climbing dome that can sometimes hold little boys hanging upside down from their knees. I see a balance ropes course that my husband installed in between some trees that most of the kids from our church have played on at one time or another. I see a growing vegetable garden that little, tiny toddler fingers used to pick cherry tomatoes from and eat them straight from the stalk. I see a basketball hoop where I've spent countless hours playing "horse" with my boys during the cool spring and summer nights. 

What I see are memories that will forever hold a special place in my heart as my two little boys are now 10 and almost 9. What I feel is their "littleness" slipping away, a little more each and every day. 

This motherhood thing is but a bittersweet symphony of highs, lows and every emotion in between. When life seems to come for us all at once and I think I've reached the end of sanity's thinning rope, one of my little boys says, "I love you so much, mama" and all at once I'm jolted back to my actual reality. 

All at once, I see a little three year old boy that's found a huge walking stick, taller than himself. He proudly and boldly walks down the gravel road, feeling far bigger than he is. All at once, I see two little boys flying past me on four wheelers, taking a turn too quickly but balancing on four wheels once again, drawing the breath from their mama's lungs and laughing all the while. All at once, I'm reminded...

... not of the tears, ER trips, broken bones, intense exhaustion or sibling rivalry. No. I'm reminded that childhood is one of the greatest gifts of this life. It is to be savored and enjoyed to the fullest capacity that one can.

Being a mom to two little boys is truly one of the hardest, but most beautiful blessings I'll ever have the privilege of navigating. I do not have it all figured out yet. What I do know is that I give this motherhood thing my all and if that doesn't look like a Pinterest mom today, tomorrow or next week, that's OK. I take such great comfort in knowing that God chose ME to be the mother for my two sons and he chose them for me. He said, "this is a perfect fit" and so it was. 

He said, "You've got this, Linds" and so I do. So I do. 

Hey, friend...

so do you.


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