E and I have been very close his entire life.  He will be 20 this year as I turn 40 and the fact that I have been his mother half my life means we have formed a bond like no other.  Our bond was unbreakable. When he moved away from the family last year and joined the army, I was devasted.  I worried that it wouldn't be the same and someone or something would break our bond.  I don't know why I feared it so much but here we are a year later and we are just as close and that bond I was so worried about losing is just as strong as when he was living at home.

 The hardest thing for me now is not being able to stop E from failing at something.  He is looking to buy his first car and I worry that he won't get a safe car or he shouldn't be driving yet.  Mind you he has only had his license since December.  The firsts I thought we were to do together are not happening and of course, I worry because he will forever be my baby.  While I need to let go in some aspects, E still comes to me for advice and to tell me what is going on day to day.  Despite my fears that he wouldn't need me anymore, he does.  He may not need me in the everyday things anymore but he knows home is always home and I will always be here to support him and boost him up when he needs it.  

An empty nest is not a bad thing, it is just a different thing.  It is like reverting to being a teenager again and only have to be responsible for yourself,  It is awkward and very different.  The teenage years for us were just that.  Awkward.  Yet, now as an adult, you have the power to do what you want.  There are no rules.  I, personally, like bedtime at 8:30 pm, eating ice cream for dinner, or keeping food in the house for more than a day.  Embrace that you raised your children to be the adults they are.  You did a great job and everything you instilled in them stays with them, the good the bad, and the ugly.