Happy Saturday, friends. It's the last Saturday of the month and it's also "National Escape Day" which hits a little differently this year as many of us are wanting to escape the reality we've been living in since last March! I'm still hopeful for 2021, but over the last week (maybe even the last 2 weeks) I have been struggling with the fact that I have been with my kids (who I love and I am grateful for) 24/7 for almost the last year. I am worn out! 

I don't want to complain. I absolutely adore my girls and love spending time with them, but I also like uninterrupted moments to myself, enjoying cups of coffee before they get cold, and (occasionally) sleeping in. I feel like the number of duties I have had as a mother these last few months are almost as bad, or maybe even worse than, when I first brought the girls home from the hospital as newborns. 

I've had those "mombie" like days where I feel like it's 11pm only to have the clock tell me it's 6:53pm. I shouldn't even get myself started on the number of times I've had to stop what I am doing (laundry, cooking, reading, whatever) to help with an assignment or to look at something "so cute/cool/funny", or to be asked if it's time to eat breakfast/lunch/a snack. Lately, the amount of time I've spent feeling like a complete madwoman has exceeded the amount of time I've spent feeling like my regular self to a grossly uncomfortable point. I know it's (likely) only temporary, but I despise the feeling.

I hate to admit I am struggling. I know there are moments the girls struggle with these weird times too, even if they don't come right out and say it. As much as they love me, I'm sure my 13-year-old and my 8-year-old would probably rather spend some time with their friends instead of at home like hermits with their mother.  I also know that I am extremely fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids and we are incredibly lucky that we are healthy and safe. Maybe one day I'll look back on these days and miss them. 

Today, though? Today I'm just feeling weary and want to escape.