Making Your Happiness A Priority In Your Relationship



2020 has been a hard year for everyone and in the midst of the chaos of a pandemic, it seems like we've been neglecting ourselves. Taking time out for yourself can be a hard task when life seems normal, but throw in a global pandemic and how can anyone be happy? While it can seem that our current issues are taking a toll on our economy and wallets, it's also taking a toll on our mental health and relationships. And we all know the saying, "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't No one Happy!"

So why is it so hard for us to find happiness for ourselves? Are we so busy doing everything for everyone else, that we forget about ourselves? Or do we feel guilty for enjoying time alone while there are things to be done? Either way, your happiness should be a priority for yourself and then things should fall into place. When I'm not happy, I tend to take it out on the ones I love, and in return that makes them upset with me. It starts a vicious cycle of unhappiness and anger that only festers until one of us reaches our breaking point. While in my household, we attempt to not let it get that far, others may not be able to and this can lead to huge relationship problems. It's not worth picking every single thing apart in your relationship. Reaching out for help can be so effective. There are a multitude of wonderful solutions for using positive psychology at BetterHelp, which can help set you on the right path to a healthy relationship.

Find ways to bring each other into the things that make you happy. Communicate with your partner as to what makes you happy and see how they respond. But keep in mind that relationships are a two-way street and their happiness should be a priority to them as well. For me, getting help in the house makes me happy. When I don't have to do it all myself and I get to spend time with my husband, I am a happy gal! Listening to music or having time to myself to read helps me to recharge and in return be nicer spouse. On the flip-side, video games make my husband happy, so I learned to play his favorite games so we can play together and spend more time together. This made him so happy and brought me so much joy to see him like that. I've grown to really enjoy this time that we spend together every evening before I cook dinner and we sit down for our meal together. 

These small changes have made a huge difference in our marriage and I'm so glad that we were able to communicate these needs to each other. So many couples struggle in this area which can lead to separation, divorce, and even rebound relationships, which aren't always the best option. Find what makes you happy, find what makes your spouse happy, talk about it with each other and make sure your needs are heard and met. Take that time for your self if you need it, or spend it with your spouse if that's what makes you happy. Just know that you shouldn't feel any guilt or shame for making happiness a priority in your relationship. 



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