I met my husband when I was just fourteen years old. More or less, we've been together ever since. While our 13 year relationship is far from perfect, we pride ourselves on how hard we work to effectively communicate with each other. Our relationship wasn't always as healthy as it is now. We have had rough patches, fights with seemingly no resolve or end, and here's the kicker: At one point, we broke up... for nearly two years.


I divide our relationship history into two parts. There was our relationship before we broke up, and the relationship that came after. It seems important to me to make this distinction because it really feels like an entirely new relationship. We both feel that coming back to each other following our break up, we were totally different people, ready and willing to make our relationship work and learn and practice healthy relationship habits, together as a team.

One of the biggest issues in our first relationship was a lack of respect, on both of our parts. He struggled to make time for me, leaving me feeling lonely and overly needy. We were both selfish, each of us focused more on ourselves and our own day to day problems than the collective relationship and how our own decisions affected each other. We fought poorly, quick to raise our voices and call each other names. We were young and inexperienced and in love for the first time. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing and we certainly never thought that our budding high school relationship would stand the test of time.

Fast forward to now and we have come a very long way in our relationship and in our marriage. The most important factors in our marriage are trust, communication, and respect. Without these three, we have nothing. Setting boundaries for each other is vital to fostering and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Communicate your thoughts to each other and never assume your partners feelings. Ways that we show respect in our marriage every day are by listening and providing our undivided attention, sharing important information and news with each other before anyone else, complimenting one another often and making each other feel special and important, and supporting each other by always taking their side.

If you feel that you are experiencing disrespect in your relationship or marriage, visit https://www.regain.us/advice/marriage/20-signs-of-disrespect-in-marriage-when-to-draw-the-line/ to read and learn more about signs, red flags, warning signs, and what steps you can take to move forward in a healthier manner.