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5 Ways To Keep The Spark Lit After The Valentine's Day Magic Is Over

So, here's the real truth: 
Valentine's Day is one day out of the year. Your marriage is 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and we have to treat it like the end-game, long-term commitment that it is.

Valentine's Day has come and gone and while some think of this day to be romantic or special, I'm more inclined to believe that keeping a spark lit has much more to do with the day-to-day. On Valentine's Day, my sweet hubby and two precious little boys woke me up with a dozen red roses and a precious card with a beautifully written message inside. 

My husband has never failed to show me how much he loves me and whether he spends money on roses or not, I will never question that love. However, special holidays can sometimes be so exciting that when they pass, many are left wishing the magic would stick around a little while longer. 

It can! The magic does not have to end, gals. These are just a few, simple ways that you can keep the spark lit, well after the last rose wilts. 

1. Love him in HIS love language.

I know this seems like a no-brainer, but it is our inclination to love others in the way that we experience love, rather than the way THEY experience love. For example, I experience love from others by spending quality time and being reached out to. My husband experiences love by physical touch and acts of service. Those happen to also be his favorite way to express love as well. He knows that I feel loved when he asks me questions, texts me, calls me and does activities with me so he tries to do those things. All men are different and your hubby may feel loved when you make him his favorite meal, sit next to him during a movie or offer to take care of a household "fix". Figure it out and do it. It may take you out of your comfort zone, but if you can master the language your husband experiences love, your life will forever be changed. Yes, he can also master your love language! That brings me to number 2. 

2. Talk to him.

Make it a point to ask him about his day, every single day. Even if you only have 5 minutes at the end of a long and busy day, spend it asking him about his day. He may just have something on his mind that has been bothering him all day and releasing that to his partner will free up his mind to be more present to you and your kids. 

3. Encourage him as a father.

Do you know that men are always worried they are screwing up this whole parenthood thing? What pressure our husbands have on their shoulders! Let him know he is doing a KICK-BOOTY job at this fatherhood thing and share with him specific ways this is true. Listen, we all make parenting mistakes, right? We know we do and we beat ourselves up about it. Do not be the bully. Be the one that silences his self-doubt.

4. Kiss him. 

Really? I don't need to include this, but also, I REALLY need to include this. Remember when you were dating and you made out at every opportune moment? Obviously, that changes as we mature and grow but when you have the chance, kiss him! Kiss him like you mean it, and mean it. 

5. Lastly, be the hero the moment requires.

The ebb and flow of marriage is constant. If he is freaking out, be the calm one and let him know everything is going to be ok. If he is stressed, be stable. If he is exhausted, tend to the kids. Listen, I know this works a lot easier if he is also living in this mindset and hopefully, he is. If he isn't and selfishness is something your marriage struggles with, refer back to number 2 and talk about this in a loving way. 

I know these "tips" can sometimes take work and may require more than we are able to give on any given day, but we can always try. 

Go out to dinner. Put the kids to bed, pop some popcorn and watch a movie. 
Play an online card game together like spades and team up to beat your opponents. 
Look at Amazon together on the couch. Take on a household project together. 
Brainstorm the future of your home, your kids, vacations and dreams. 
Compliment his outfit choice. You get the idea.

If it feels overwhelming or you're not sure how to ever get to this point, just pick one and make it happen. This life is so very short and we have the opportunity right now to make the moment count. We all want to be happy, but happiness comes and goes based on your circumstances. 

Joy is what we aim for and that is felt deeply and does not change with the seasons. 

When I think about the man that God chose for me to spend my life, I want to try and spend my days showing the Lord just how grateful I am for His choice.  

Would you add to this list? Which of these tips will you put into practice today?


1 comment

  1. These are great tips. I have been with my guy about 8 1/2 years. We are the best of friends because of the simple things like your suggestions.


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