Talkspace Offers Enlightening Advice on How to Set Boundaries


As a human, you will have the desire to be loved, seen, and accepted. At times, the desire is so strong that people make unnecessary sacrifices so that they may receive validation showcasing that they do matter. In life, it is good to take part in daily rituals that will help you to recenter and form loving boundaries that are strong. Various studies have also been conducted, and it is evident that people who have a tendency to be liked have a hard time coming up with boundaries. If you also use emotions to determine what you should do, you will also have a hard time setting boundaries. You should not rely on emotions as your source of motivation when engaging in any activity.


Rachel O’Neill is a Talkspace therapist, and she has been able to shed light on human emotions and how they impact the lives of many individuals. Personally, she has been a people-pleaser at some point. She always tried to relate to the pain that people around her felt. Rachel felt that it was her duty to make sure that people are happy at any given moment. Her major concern was that if she failed to please her peers, they would not respect and they would find someone better.

According to the publications by researchers, Rachel O’Neill was undergoing a “contingent sense of self-worth.” O'Neill would exert some pressure on herself so that she would have some self-worth by being the person she thought everyone wanted her to be and she eventually lost a part of herself. After some time, Rachel O’Neill gave in to the fact that the people-pleasing tendencies that she had developed were more of an attempt to protect herself from being rejected by the people around her.

According to Talkspace therapist, Rachel O’Neill, you must learn how to love and accept yourself just as you are. Researchers have also showcased that when you learn to accept yourself as you are, you won’t be bothered by the criticism from other people. Some of the ways in which you can learn how to set boundaries in your life are as follows;

You Must Have the Power to Say No

If you are struggling with setting boundaries, you will also have some form of fear or guilt about what may happen if you say “No.” Rachel O’Neill went ahead to say that there is a lot of power that lies in being able to say “No.” You should always put your needs first.

Formulate a Loving-Kindness Meditation

There are days when people feel extra sensitive. On such days, you must come up with a loving-kindness meditation as a way of increasing the love in your life. To set boundaries, you must place more value to yourself. To have a loving-kindness meditation, the following steps may come in handy:

1. Place more emphasis on your on your well-being personally. Try to fill yourself with loving-kindness, and at the end of it all, you will be happy and at ease.

2. Pay more attention to the well-being of a person who loves you and formulate a desire that will make sure that they will also be filled with loving-kindness.

Always Seeks Support When You Need It

It is advisable to seek the services of a skilled therapist online or in person. They can help you to understand the source of your people-pleasing tendencies. Eventually, they will also help you to come up with tools that will help you to set up boundaries in your life. When you learn to love yourself, you will have the ability to set up boundaries since they are quite significant. You might experience some ups and downs, but you will get it right at some point.

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