The Nagging Mom


I am the parent that is overly involved in what my children do. I believe in the phrase my house my rules.  The problem with this is the fact that this behavior from me stops their free expression and causes upset in the family balance.  No one wants to hear that they cannot do, say or feel something because it doesn't align with someone else's way of life.  As a parent you want your children to learn right from wrong but you don't want to be the overbearing parent that nags your children to learn these things.
I am the mom that encourages my children to be better than myself and better than themselves.  Life is about learning a new lesson everyday.  I have been the mom that nags because I feel ignored when I give guidance or even act the part of mom.

Nagging or Mom nagging as my son calls it is because I expect rules to be followed and annoying as they may be to him these are my rules.  My son is 17 and while he is almost an adult he is not one.  One rule is that during the ride home from school I need to know where he is.  Based on the fact we are out of district he takes the city bus.  He has to stop to get a connector bus to get home daily from school. We live in a busy city.  All I ask is to know when he is at the bus stop, when he gets on the bus, when he is at the location for the second bus, and when he gets home.  The last 2 years have been the same expectation.  Does he follow this? No.  So I turn into crazy mom  envisioning all the worst case scenarios imaginable.  So when I finally find where he is (home), I am furious because he knows that I worry and it is a constant tug of war with him to do what I ask.  So I become the nagging mom.  I try to explain my point of view but it falls on deaf ears.

So if you feel yourself being the nagging mom what do you do?  Do you change what you are doing or do you change what you expect?  The answer is no to both of these questions.  A child, teen, or young adult needs guidance, direction, and discipline.  They also need to know boundaries and expectations because during the course of their lives they will experience situations that will test all they learned.  I choose to be the nagging mom because at least I know that my son knows I care and that he is important to me.  Plus I know one day he will be the nagging dad when his children don't understand his rules.



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