Marriage proposals-The right way to ask her!


He proposed. She said yes! Marriage proposals sure are in highlight nowadays, but this idea is not recent. The concept of marriage proposals has been passed on through generations to generations. A guy, with all the love in his heart, confesses his love and to asks to marry his lady love. This tradition has been enhanced since then. At those times, it was a simple, sweet and special moment between the loved ones and the focus was mainly on a conversation to confess. And nowadays, it is much bigger, more glamorous and with lots of little details considered.

A girl starts dreaming about her marriage and marriage proposal since her teen years. It is her dream that she gets her flawless proposal- Perfect location, perfect flowers, perfect music and most importantly, perfect ring and perfect man. The cliché of marriage proposals is on heights these days. Men, sometimes women too (because, why not?) go out of the way to make this day special. Some of the recent fantastic ways which have been used to propose are:
  • Underwater proposal
  • Mountaintop proposal
  • Flash mob proposal
  • The skywriting
  • Skydive proposal
  • Campfire proposal
  • Over the bridge proposal
  • Stadium proposal
  • Crackers proposal, & much more
Of course, these include picture-perfect backdrops, set up, décor and someone or some technique to film the whole thing. But this thing is slowly losing its meaning by focussing more on materialistic things rather than communicational. There is no end to these expectations. Also, some couples are not even ready for marriage. Their proposals are just for sake of social media. These attention seeking platforms have made these moments look cliché and have snatched the privacy of people.  These things are special mostly due to their privacy. Some things hold their meaning only because they belong to just the two of the people who are madly in love. Here are some pieces of advice that can be handy if you want to make your proposal more meaningful, and not just something to flaunt:
  1. Do not make your proposal a competition- There is no end to these things. Whatever you might have planned, someone must have done better. If you keep on focussing on how her best friend’s fiancé proposed or how your brother asked her girlfriend to marry, and you ought to do better than that, then maybe, you might do better. But the affection will sure be missing in that moment. Make an effort to make this day just about you. Make it your day. Your perfect moment which portrays your history and your love for each other.
  2. Choose a perfect location: Yes, I agree. Hot air balloons, skywriting or underwater proposals sound amazing and so dreamlike. And any girl would be swept off her feet with these gestures. But imagine if you plan a proposal at the same place where you saw her first time or in the university cafeteria where you first held hands or even better, at the lake where you first kissed. Can you feel the tears of joy? That nostalgia of the memories and of newly rushed feelings? That is what you need to show in your proposal; the essence of your relationship and what it means to you.
  3. Choose a perfect ring: Diamond is indeed a girl’s best friend. When the guy bends on his knee and open a box and there he presents glittering shiny engagement ring. The glitter of the ring is seen in the girl’s eyes. The size does not matter, but the perfect ring is the one which holds some meaning and speaks for itself. Now how can you differentiate between a good ring and a perfect ring? It is not just the shape, carat or size of the ring. You can also recreate the ring into some symbol which holds a meaning for your relationship. Jacob Mercari of Toronto has engagement rings which can be customized according to the needs of the customer. You can ask them to create a symbol or engrave the names or dates on the ring.
  4. Expression of love: Never make the proposal just about things. Yes, they are important and as much part of the expression. But the words you speak, feelings you convey should be from the core of your heart. This is one of those delicate moments which make every girl weak in her knees. Your words have the power to re-create the love that was started long ago. It makes her believe that no matter how much the time has passed, you still care. You still express. And she trusts the instinct that you will always make her feel special and wanted. Never take these simple things in a casual manner as she might feel that you take her for granted.
  5. Be classy, not cheesy: There is a fine line between proposing gracefully and overdoing it. Keeping things simple and classy has a better impact on your loved one, rather than doing everything at once. In the excitement of the whole process, you may overdo things. That may sound cheesy and maybe a tad bit fake well. Unless your loved one like things when they are over the top and she appreciates your effort to arrange all of it.
  6. Surprise her: Whatever planning you do, how much ever confuse you are, do not involve her in any of the planning. Never even throw any casual hints about how she would like her marriage proposal to be. Don’t ask her ring size or her choice of the ring, even indirectly. Because you may think you are being smart; but trust me, she will get the idea. And this is one thing that a girl wants to be surprised about. She would love if you do all the planning because she has been saving her energy to plan her wedding. The surprise element is important if you want her to be all taken aback. And the rush of feelings comes only when she is unprepared for what is coming.
  7. Ask her parents before going ahead: This is one of those moments where you should show how much of a gentleman you are. Taking her parent’s permission before asking her shows the respect you have for her and her family. It stores the confidence in the heart and mind of her parents and assures them that their darling daughter is going to spend the rest of her life with a very respectful person.  
  8. Do not take hasty decisions: This is the most crucial thing of all. Never propose because one of you wants to take the relationship further. It takes two to start a marriage and make it last. Proposing when one of you is not ready is the most terrible decision you can take. Also, if your relationship is very new or you feel that you still need time to know each other better, just delay the proposal for a little bit. Even if you feel you are ready, just take a little time to get to know where your partner stands in this relationship. Proposing at the wrong time creates awkwardness between the couple and instead of going to the next level, the relationship takes 5 steps back.
  9. Celebrate: She said yes!! Take your time and feel the love and happiness for the new life that is about to begin for both of you. Enjoy the moment because that moment will be the memory of your lifetime. Share your happiness among your best of friends and family because they will just as happy as you are.     

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