Thursday, December 14, 2017

Do You Ever Feel Like When You Had Kids, You Lost Yourself?




I've had some conversation lately with a very close friend about 'losing yourself' when you become a mom. We are both stay-at-home-moms and I think like most moms, we catch ourselves feeling the occasional itch to remember who we were pre-children. What brought us joy? What was a favorite pastime? When did we feel our prettiest? I think the devil would love to take that doorway of doubt that is slightly cracked and push it all the way open into deep thoughts on this topic. 





To become self-absorbed, self-serving and self-gratifying has become a societal norm.


 Sometimes it seems we are bombarded by society to believe in self. I think it's important to have an outlet, to keep your friends close, to engage in adult conversation, adult get-togethers and maintain the balance between 'all kids all the time' and 'who you once were'. The reality is, 'who you once were pre-children' is never going to be exactly the same. Having children changes everything! It's not just a popular quip that older generations love to say. 

I'm 34 years young and I believe it and have experienced it. What I didn't expect and didn't realize about that statement, is the change that comes is so much better than I could have imagined. It has never once been a negative change. To try to hold on to who I once was is just simply futile and ridiculous. I'll never be the same and I'm glad for that because life has only gotten better. Maybe not all feel this way, but the way I see it,  God entrusted these souls to me to nurture and I will give it all I've got. My prayer is to never let my self get in the way of that awesome responsibility... and maybe after 1000 fails I'll get it right one day.

Parenthood is after all the amazing journey of 1000 mess ups, 1000 forgives, 1000 forgets, 1000 I love yous and 1000 prayers. By the time the kiddos all leave the home, hopefully the score card is empty, the door stays open and the conversation never ends.


These are my two guys. Their lives have shaken up mine and I would never change a moment. 


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