I've had some conversation lately with a close friend about 'losing yourself' when you become a mom. We are both stay at home moms and I think like most moms (working outside of the home or within), we catch ourselves feeling the occasional itch to remember who we were pre-children. What brought us joy? What was a favorite pastime? When did we feel our prettiest? I think our society with an inclination to being very superficial, would love to take every opportunity to pressure us women into feeling less than.
We are bombarded by the media to become self-absorbed, self-serving and self-gratifying. I don't know about you, but I am not willing to sit idly by and become numb to the needs of others. I think it's important to have an outlet, to keep your friends close, to engage in adult conversation, adult get-togethers and maintain the balance between 'all kids all the time' and 'who you once were'. The reality is, 'who you once were pre-children' is never going to be exactly the same, but I have some good news: that is completely OK! Having children changes everything! It's not just a popular quip that people love to say regarding your life never being the same.
I'm 34 years old with two children and I believe it and have experienced it. What I didn't expect and didn't realize about that statement, is the change that comes is so much better than I could have imagined. It has never once been a negative change. If we try to hold onto what our lives looked like before becoming parents, it's just a futile waste of energy! I'll never be the same and I'm glad for that because change brings growth and growth can lead to peace. Having two very difficult pregnancies and premature deliveries, I can understand when feeling joyous isn't exactly the first feeling that comes to mind.
I'm 34 years old with two children and I believe it and have experienced it. What I didn't expect and didn't realize about that statement, is the change that comes is so much better than I could have imagined. It has never once been a negative change. If we try to hold onto what our lives looked like before becoming parents, it's just a futile waste of energy! I'll never be the same and I'm glad for that because change brings growth and growth can lead to peace. Having two very difficult pregnancies and premature deliveries, I can understand when feeling joyous isn't exactly the first feeling that comes to mind.
Maybe the journey of a thousand mess ups, a thousand forgives and a thousand forgets will actually lead to a destination of a thousand "I love yous", smiles and moments you'll never forget. Let's not keep score among one another. Let's encourage one another more often and in doing so I have a deep suspicion that who we once were, will pale in comparison to the glow of who we are now.
Lindsey
Thank you Lindsey for this post!! As mommas we all need this type of reminder!! The change is so worth it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sweet feedback! <3 <3
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