Happy Monday morning, friends! I am just waking up this morning, enjoying a nice cup of hot coffee as I write this. I am coming off the tail end of an incredibly busy weekend. Saturday was filled with fun (we got a sneak peek at a little movie you might be looking forward to seeing- How to Train Your Dragon 2), and had dinner with my parents later in the evening.
On Sunday, we had quite the celebration at church, as we celebrated Pentecost, the day where we celebrate the coming of the Holy Spirit- the birthday of the church, as our pastor referred to it as. It's always one of my favorite Sundays, and we sing a lot of my favorite music. Yesterday morning, however, I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't really feeling the Spirit at all. I had no idea why- I could have just been overly tired, but for me, to not 'feel it' during worship can sort of be a downer to everyone else. As the worship and song leader, it's part of my job to motivate and inspire those around me through my own worship. After the 9 am service ended, I hopped over to the 'big church' to get ready for the traditional worship service, where I would also sing, and lead the congregation in singing a response. I always view my singing in worship as an offering to God. It's never a performance, and I very rarely feel nervous or pressure when I sing in God's house.
Singing and leading worship is my true calling, I believe. I know my pastor wouldn't have asked me to lead every Sunday, if he didn't think so, too. However, it's easy to feel unappreciated from time to time when folks get so used to what you're doing. I sometimes find myself in a bit of a rut, asking myself if anyone would even notice if I just gave 50%, because I feel so tired from not sleeping the night before? Would it make a difference if I stopped caring if it was spot on every time, or if I just decided to take a long break from this volunteer job?
Yesterday, I got my answer...
...it came from the woman who thanked me after our contemporary service, and then asked me if I always get a great night's sleep on Saturdays. She said I must, because I am always so fresh, and so lively and happy on Sunday mornings. The answer also came after traditional worship later that morning, when a family friend commented on how my voice has matured since having a baby, and come into its fullness, and richness. She said she always loves to sing along with me from the pew, but that yesterday, she just closed her eyes, as she was moved to tears as I sang.
Beautiful Winter Daphne, which I can't wait to plant!
The answer came again, even later in the day, when I was back at church, for our Women's Ensemble rehearsal. One of the sweet ladies in our singing group was carrying in a little bag, and she called after me, telling me that inside of the bag, was a little gift for me. I was taken aback, because there wasn't any reason I could think of to warrant a gift. She handed me the bag, and told me that she had rooted a Winter Daphne, which is a fragrant shrub that blooms during the heart of the winter season. She knows how much I love to garden, and she shares that same passion. I thanked her, and told her how very sweet she was for thinking of me. Her response to me caught me by surprise. She said, 'Well, you just bless so many of us when you share your gift by singing.' In that moment, I was the one moved to tears. As our Diaconal Minister, Danielle, said in her sermon, 'That's the Holy Spirit at work.'
Yes- it matters. Yes, I matter. Yes, I am instrumental in God's plan for the people I encounter weekly, just by being me, and sharing my gift. Though it seems like I am pouring it all out for God on Sunday mornings, the truth is, I am being filled up, so that I can pour myself out in little bits as the week goes on. I know that God gave me my voice for a reason, and I believe that its purpose is to bring Him glory, and lead His people in singing praise to His name. Oh yes, it matters. It makes a difference. I matter to God, and so do you. How could I not give my best to Him each and every day? After all, He gave His very best for me.
How will you give your very best this week?
How will you use your gifts to bless someone?