Is Punishment a Negative?

I read a lot of new stories in an effort to find ones that are motivational or uplifting to offset the negative I hear and see. On occasion there are articles I read that make me shake my head.  It also makes me think.  One in particular is about punishment for children.  Who has the right to punish your child?

The current story I read was about corporal punishment.  A mother was having a hard time getting her son to behave and in turn he was acting out in school.  The school uses corporal punishment as a last resort tactic to steer a child to change behaviors.  This is a curious notion for me as I do not believe in physical forms of adjusting behavior.  I surely do not believe in allowing a teacher or principal or anyone else putting their hands on my child. 

I believe that behavior is set by example. What you allow will happen and what you do not allow will not.  With E we set a counting rule.  I counted to three when he was doing something I wanted him not to do.  He rarely made me count passed one because he knew he wouldn't like losing privileges.  I used a firm voice and gave him the option to stop the behavior on his own or he would be the decision maker in what he would lose as far as these privileges.  

How Counting Changes Behavior

1. If E chose to make a mess with all his toys he was responsible for cleaning them up.  I did not make this mess and would not be responsible for cleaning it up.  If he refused his option was to put his toys in a garbage bag for donating to other children.  This taught him to be respectful of his belongings.

2.  If he chose to act out in public with a temper tantrum I counted if he could not calm himself we would immediately leave the place we were at and he would not get the toy, go to the park, or get to go out to lunch at a restaurant.  These were Mommy and E dates and he loved doing these things.  He needed to learn that he was the decision maker and I was not forcing my will on him. Because he liked doing these things he associated acting out as losing these special moments.

Why I don't believe in Corporal Punishment

1.  We are raising our children to be productive members of society.  If they cannot make their mistakes and their own choices they will not know how to make choices as an adult.

2.  Hitting, spanking, or yelling causes embarrassment, low self-esteem, and fear.  Do you want your child to experience these feelings?  Spankings do not teach a lesson they breed these feelings of not feeling worthy.  This is not something I want my child to feel.

3.  The cycle will continue for generations that this is the best way to handle discipline.  Future generations will see no fault in these methods and continue on a pattern of discipline that does not align with what is lawfully wrong.  

I do believe in every parent's right to discipline.
What is your go to method?
Spanking? Yay or Nay?
Share your thoughts with us via social media or comment on my blog. 
We love hearing from you.


  1. I definitely don't feel like anyone at school should be physically punishing a child, but I think it is okay for parents to spank their child if that is something that they feel works for their family.
    I personally haven't had a reason to use that punishment, but having grown up in an abusive household, I also worry about what could happen if I did.

    1. I understand the concern having grown up in an abusive home. This is something that scares me. I don't want to repeat the abuse.

  2. This was a very interesting article. Disciplining children is hard. Bernie Wallace BWallace1980(at)hotmail(d0t)com

  3. I definitely do not think that teachers or school officials should be allowed to use corporeal punishment. It's just not okay for anyone but a parent to make the decision to do that or not.


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